My Bathing Suit Lust List

I’ve tried to go swimming four times in the last month and have yet to succeed. Four separate times where I put on a bathing suit and left my home full of hope and sunscreen only to be let down by some unforeseeable force that wishes for me to never float to my heart’s delight again. Okay, so maybe that’s a little dramatic. BUT GUESS WHAT? It’s almost pool party season. I’m planning on how to snag an invite to as many parties as possible, designing beautiful coverups and eyeing all the new swimsuits that have been released. So, I am putting together this list of lust worthy swimwear to put on your beautiful bod and wait by the pool, any pool, just like me. (Click each photo if you’d like more info.)

I’m just going to start off with this by saying ARE YOU KIDDING ME, GABIFRESH? I just don’t understand why you’re messing with my emotions this way. Did you slip into my dreams while I was enjoying a restful slumber and pull this design from everything good I could ever imagine? I know the cup sizes start at D but Gabi has stated that all the soft cup pieces will fit smaller cups. I’m also willing to lose the under piece and let it all hang out for this perfect grid/palm print.

HOW DARE YOU, TORRID? This isn’t right. This swimsuit is so cute that I have literal tears in my eyes. That’s right. My eyes are wetter than my body as I sit here in my underwear on the couch, crying over swimsuits in between bites of budget spaghetti, instead of gracefully floating in a public pool.

More palm fronds you may ask? And the answer is “Please get off my back.” I always want to wear palm frond print and walk around my tiny 500 square foot apartment pretending that I am living in this shoe box ironically. I like to imagine that I actually summer in Cannes or Fiji or wherever the hell rich people go to count their money on a yacht. In reality the closest to “summering” I’ve ever gotten was working for minimum wage on the boardwalk in Wildwood, New Jersey. But I digress…

You probably already know that I like the 80’s and extremely loud prints. I’m not a very subtle human. I border the line of fun at parties and total nightmare. So, my clothes should probably match for continuity’s sake.

I’m circling back to the Gabifresh collection because I want every single piece. Why the hell am I not on a luxurious Mediterranean vacation with all my friends while wearing these swimsuits? Yes, I know you need friends and a passport for that to actually happen. But otherwise, WHY???

 

 

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